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Wanna be Black?
To all of the white people out there, have you ever been watching BET or listening to the radio, wondering "My word, what in Jesus' name is "letting your shoulder lean"?" "Why are there so many nubian females with large buttocks?" "Am I allowed to say Nigga?"
Sure, the guys at Nigga Know Technology could help you out, but Dr. Woozie and his team of expert scientists have come up with something better!
NeGrow™
That's right, with NeGrow™ even you can be as black as the 2 Live Crew or Snoop Dogg! NeGrow™ works by utilizing special polycarbonate ions and nuclear isotopes found only in fried chicken and watermelon to give pigment challenged persons the feel of really being BLACK!
In only 5 months, you can go from this:
To THIS!!!!!
WOW! Look at all that improvement, all for a low low cost of US$99.95! WHAT A DEAL! But wait, that's not all!
With your purchase of NeGrow™ you'll also recieve 12 pounds *free* of Watermelon straight from the fields, one signed pair of $300 limited edition Air Jordans signed by Mike himself AND 1 copy of "Michael Bolton's Greatest Hits" so you can understand why black people hate him!
Don't believe us?!? Listen to these testimonials!!!
Before NeGrow™, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't understand my neighbors, listen to the radio, or even please my wife. But thanks to NeGrow™, I can chill with my "niggas" and "pour some 40 on tha curb" for my homies that didn't make it! Thanks NeGrow™!-J., Boston
I was so confused by words such as "badonkadonk" and "whack" and "two-steppin" I felt hopeless! I couldn't connect with my daughter or her black friends at all. But thanks to NeGrow™, I can kick it with the best of them! I even have a big dick! Thanks again Dr. Woozie, you're the best!-O., Nova Scotia
Wow, those testimonials are AMAZING! This is proof that this product works, you get just so much useful stuff, ALL FOR $99.95!!!!!!!!
I ask again, wanna be black? If so, then NeGrow™ is the perfect option! With all the free stuff available, how could any white man turn it down!!! If you wanna understand the radio, your children and coworkers, then pick up the phone and dial 1-800-1-NeGrow! That's 1-800-163-4769! Get yours TODAY!!!!
(NeGrow™ is not intended for use in human beings. NeGrow™ is not FDA approved. NeGrow™ has been proven to cause high blood pressure, diabetes and AIDS. The free offers with NeGrow™ are accompanied by a $300 non-refundable shipping and processing fee. Shoes not actually signed by Michael Jordan. NeGrow™ is not guaranteed to work. Dr. Woozie is a paid actor. Offer only available on Tuesdays in Laos.)
33 Manifestos:
Before NeGrow�, I couldn't dance and I had me a tiny white penis.
NOW, I'm the babydaddy of foe kids and my credit score is motherfucking 350.
(I couldn't resist, sorry ;-)
NeGrow carries with it many side-effects.
i don't need any of your snake-oil, everyone knows Irish people are the Blacks of Europe
That's not what your testimonial says.
I've never lived in Halifax.
That's what YOU say.
Peep this
shit.
There. I ♥ Revisionist history. And ghetto-ass black people.
Please don't show me that at this point in time.
WHAT.
Would September 11th be a good time?
For what? I was talking about what the lady said in the video when she was kicking ass.
That's what I was talking about too. I thought you were being crazy.
I want to be an Iranian, is there a kit for that?
Yes, I too long to be Persian.
What's so great about Persia?
Bobby and Tyler in
"PlayTime"
Omar and the lady's favorite website
Hey! They look pretty damn good!
WHAT.
Wanna borrow some lotion then?
Only if Zo puts it on my skin.
Sure thing white boy. Where would you like it first?
Ooooo! And then Omar get the "hose" again.
Wait till I tell my slenda nigga Sebastian.
Dammit, omar! I showed you how to make a hyperlink!
Is that what that motherfucker is? I can't seem to do it without including the goddamn date and time.
Merde.
this is dumb as hell. LOL
That last testiomonial is Omar's, he just won't admit it.
So I would guess from reading your blog that everyone who is not black is communist, right?
Nope. This stemmed from a joke my mother made from some really stupid ad we heard on NPR.
Thanks,
won't be around for awhile; the importance of being idle.
merry xmas...
Dr. Woozie, you saved my life. I used to be afraid of black people. Now, thanks to you and NeGrow, I AM a black person!
Thank you, Dr. Woozie!
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