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Happy Birthday to Me...
Oh, now don't feel bad. Unlike Jesus, people remember my birthday as an actual birthday, not a corporate holiday meant to rape people's wallets in the spirit of giving (the deed to your house to your bank to help pay off credit card debt.)
Don't mistake this for attention whoring, I'm not doing naked somersaults at a middle school and then posting it all over JewTube. Chunky frames don't adapt too well to gymnastics. Anyway, this is mainly a waste of time, letting you know that I am now 17, meaning I can see R-rated movies by myself (oh boy) and I can buy M-rated games. But not the AO ones, those are for 18 year old big boys only.
Now the birthday wish. Let's see, all the things I could wish for...
-Dick Cheney to come out of the closet
-The FreeCreditReport.com guy to get hit by a bus
-420 Pounds of Marijuana
-A truck full of masking tape (that's called foreshadowing, boys and girls)
-Ron Paul and Mike Gravel to run together and win the presidency
-Sean Hannity to put on a Klan outfit and take a stroll in Harlem
-
A freshman to wait on me hand and foot
-Rudy Giuliani to shut the hell up about 9/11 and/or "Islamic terrorism"
-Lou Dobbs to get hit by the same bus that hit the FreeCreditReport.com guy
-Rex Grossman to stick his interception arm in a wood chipper
This is a tough one...I think I'll wish for a 36 inch penis. Yeah! Think of all the things you could do with a 36 inch penis. You could change the world...
23 Manifestos:
Hah. I still can't get over the fact that you were 16 all of this time! Just wow.
Happy Birthday =)
I could get with all of those except the 36 inch penis. Of course if I had a 36 inch penis I could help Cheney come out of his closet, it would be my civic duty.
OK then. Happy birthday. If you did get the 36 incher, would you be taller lying down?
Happy birthday Woozie! :D
36 inches would be a bit of a hassle to lug around... you may need a wheelbarrow or a trolley of some kind.
Allow me to do it in Malay - Selamat Hari Jadi ke-17, Woozie!
May you never run out of political spite. (Oh,you'll have to edit your profile now)
you can watch R-rated shiz at 17? Gee... I still have to wait for 21 to do that. Haha.
At 36 years of age my 36 inch Anaconda landed me a 60 inch Sista, so there ya go.
Joyeux Anniversaire!
Why stop at the interception arm? Why not jam the whole Grossman in the chipper?
I mean, if you go for just the arm, and it turns out he's got a little reptile in him, he could be back.
Have a KKKool Birthday anniversary.
Happy Birthday Wooz.
*bloggy hugz*
What do you want to be In 20 Years?
so fucking wise for 17
think in terms of 190.51 kilos. it seems easier to attain.
fly on, little wing
have a good b- day!
Seventeen? Jeez, I've got t-shirts older than that. I'm wearing one right now... it has a Budweiser horse on it. So, from me and a twenty-year-old horse... Happy Birthday, Woozie.
"For he's a jolly good angry young politicized fellow, which nobody can deny."
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday little brother, I hope your chest feels better! Whooooooooooooooooo!
Happy Birthday man!
When it comes to penises; it is not the length that matters but what you do with it. A penis is made of muscle, so "work" it as much as you can, and build up that muscle ;) You have a lifetime of fucking ahead.
Holy fuck...
Just what are birthdays in the great state of Maryland, national bloody holidays?
on your bike, junior.
Don't listen to that old bag.
Happy B-day, doood.
hic
Happy 17th. It was only a couple of days ago I was still thinking you were 15. I need to get you out of my fantasies..
Happy Belated!!!
17...was a good year, if ya know what I'm sayin..... ;-)
happy belated lil' brother.
I hope I know you in 10 years, that shit will be interesting to see.
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