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Culture Is The One Thing That Money Can't Buy
In a movie he's never seen, a character he's never heard of said that there are only two kinds of people in the world: Beatles people and Elvis people. Now, Beatles people can like Elvis, and Elvis people can like Beatles, but nobody likes the two equally. And no, Tupac is not an acceptable option.
The unfortunate friend of mine (artist's impression at right) who has never seen Pulp Fiction can be classified as neither an Elvis person nor a Beatles person since, in his words, he doesn't really like either of them. The only two acts in the history of recorded music to sell more than one billion albums, and he doesn't really like either of them. What does he like? The last song of his I remember hearing was "All Star".
No friend of mine is going to consider Smash Mouth a quality band. Like me a scant few months ago, my friend is in need of a crash course in all things good music. I didn't appreciate the work of The King until recently (yeah yeah Orhan, you were right, eat my dicks), but what I do know well is the fab four. My friend, he calls himself a lyricist, and he can't appreciate John and George (and Paul, to a lesser extent)? Normally I wouldn't be in such a position to tell someone they are uncultured, but damn man.
I could just hand him a copy of Sgt. Pepper and tell him to go to town, but that would be too easy and not enough fun. I rather like picking and choosing my favorites between songs, and assembling them in an order that I think flows well both musically and thematically. This morning I put together an hour of music hand picked for him, what he likes, and what everybody likes. Three songs I left out but would have otherwise included are the only three Beatles tracks he actually likes; "Let It Be", "Hey Jude", and "Yesterday", the latter of which is not an appropriate lullaby! I'd love to show him more--turn him on, if you will--but we have to make baby steps first. And if this doesn't do it for him, nothing will.
64 Manifestos:
Full track list:
1. Helter Skelter
2. Across The Universe
3. She's Leaving Home
4. A Day In The Life
5. Strawberry Fields Forever
6. I Am The Walrus
7. Revolution
8. Rain
9. Happiness Is A Warm Gun
10. You've Got To Hide Your Love Away
11. While My Guitar Gently Weeps (Acoustic)
12. Eleanor Rigby
13. In My Life
14. Nowhere Man
15. Don't Let Me Down
16. I Me Mine
17. The Long And Winding Road
18. Golden Slumbers
19. Carry That Weight
20. The End
1, 2, 4, 7, 9, 10....killer. Then it's pretty much Elvis time. Or Beggar's Banquet.
PS I haven't seen Pulp Fiction and I'm one of Satan's children.
A blog I can appreciate ;)
Nice... my fav would be # 10
This person hasn't seen Pulp Fiction and doesn't like the Beatles?
I really think the only option at this point is euthanasia.
I can't really think of one Elvis song (did he even write any of his own material?) that I would place above any of your listed Beatles tunes, but I do agree with the Beggar's Banquet reference. At a time when rock and roll was sprinting uncontrollably towards ever heavier sounds and more than irritating electronic screechings (hullo Hendrix), Mick and Keith pull out the Dobros and fiddles and pen a musical masterpiece. Best Stones album ever.
I really think the only option at this point is euthanasia.
You strap her to the table and I'll fill the syringe!
(I keed, I keed)
It's a pretty good list and encompasses the varied styles of The Beatles. If he doesn't gain appreciation for them after this there is no hope.
I had a friend with EXCELLENT taste in music who insisted upon the fact that she didn't like The Beatles. Then she admitted she liked some songs. Finally I was able to convince her that she liked most songs. However, she still hates "The Beatles" thinks they are a bunch of jerks. I can respect that.
Leslie: I will be the first to admit my music library is thinner than what it should be, considering what I like. I didn't really start listening to music until my junior year of high school, anyway. The Stones are next on my list of shit to rampantly consume.
Also, you can nom nom a vagina kthx. Don't stop savoring the clit until you've seen the black letters stamped on Sam Jackson's wallet!
GB: Marvelous!
TS: I know, I know! I love that song; so many people forget about it and it makes me a sad panda.
AGB: I can inform the university that he doesn't have his meningitis vaccine (whether or not he does is irrelevant), they'll send him to Hudson, and he'll contract the HIV virus from their needle. A brilliant plan!
Omar: I think Elvis wrote a couple of songs later in his career (it's just hard to believe someone would record music for 20 years and not have one original composition) but he is still remembered for being a cover artist, you're right. But that voice though, lawd, it's a damn good one. Even if he is 'just a white man that sings like a nigger' the few covers of his I have on my computer are ones I like.
Hullo Hendrix? Boy, what I tell you 'bout sassin?
Natalie: John, as your probably heard, thought they were a bunch of dicks too, saying you had to be a jerk to make it in the music business.
good luck with your friend. as susan sarandon said, "If a person doesn't want any information, you can't really go anywhere from there."
there's supposed 2 b a 27-minute version of #1 out there n a locked-down vault on the other side of somewhere..
there's so much good beatles stuff, a wealth of sound....it reminds one conversely that jimi was here barely long enuf for that flower to bloom and disappear.
stones? whatever u pleez. they're just not a serious force.
Not a serious force? If they'd all died in a plane crash in 1975 you'd feel differently. Very few rock stars age gracefully and watching them wither and fumble tarnishes the crown. It's easy to be iconic when you're frozen in time.
Woozie you sure have a filthy, filthy mouth since moving to Ohio. No wonder BBC has a crush on you.
Omar why don't you strap me down to the table? That way I'd at least enjoy my last few minutes on Earth.
Yes, the one Mr. McCartney has so kindly refused to release all these years. And when it came time for that Anthology project, the people were elated to hear of a studio take only to find it's just the first 4 minutes of the full 27. Dicks.
Looks like we've got two Stoners in the audience! Uno, you better get ready for a raping!
Is it me or did Woody Allen get slipped in between some lady killers @1:35?
As long as the Stones continue to put out new music then I'd like to see them tour until they can't tour any longer. It will be when they still climb up on that stage without any new material that it will all be too 'Elvis in Vegas' for me. It's why I thought last years Martin Scorsese directed concert flick blew big time. They had what I thought a very good record in 'A Bigger Bang' and then performed absolutely no songs from it for Scorsese's film. Dumb move, Mickey.
That way I'd at least enjoy my last few minutes on Earth.
Trouble in paradise? You didn't smash up your lovely face again I hope.
IH: Oh my lawd, that he did. Woody Allen does what he wants.
Omar: On the one condition that Mick take them fucking leather pants off and replace them with some jeans or something. Some baggy ass jeans. Fuck.
Also, for anyone who cares I dropped the last three songs. They didn't quite fit in.
I didn't realise there was anyone left in the developed world who hadn't seen pulp fiction. How does one survive?
Hey, girlfriend!
this leads me to wonder what you could do to save me from my unfortunate musical ignorance.
Can we have chocolate instead?
Yo man, Smashmouth? I think the band name fits the action that should happen to anyone who actually likes that fucked up musically disinclined bullshit. I honestly don't like Elvis or the Beatles- but "While my guitar gently weeps" is one of the most beautiful songs ever written. G. Harrison is the most underappreciated Beatle if you ask me....Did I say that I didn't like the Beatles?
when the beatles came into power...they knocked elvis off the charts and started the decline of the elvis era...he hated them, but was dying to meet them..they were huge elvis fans and when they were told they could meet with him they were just over the moon...they came in the room..he never said a word...played a little on the piano, a little on the guitar..sang a little and then they were escorted out..i still don't get it..freaked the lads out.
Trouble in paradise? You didn't smash up your lovely face again I hope.
No, I'm still rocking the first smash up, thanks. I've decided the Picasso look works for me.
Anyway my comment was referring to your offer to help euthanize me.
Stoner.
I didn't realise there was anyone left in the developed world who hadn't seen pulp fiction. How does one survive?
I don't see movies starring John Travolta or Tom Cruise. I don't like them.
I've also never seen a Matrix movie, a Star Wars movie, an episode of Lost, Survivor or American Idol and I've never been in a Wal-Mart or played a video game or downloaded a song, but I've seen every episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
you better get ready for a raping!
yeah well, send em some chicken and biscuits -- they're gonna need the calories
Uno: I see what you did there!
shinynewcoin: He's from Ohio, that should explain a bit.
Rachel: Cut off your ears and replace them with those from a small African orphan. Problem solved, thank you, and I accept your apology!
Paz: George, although I don't think he outsold John or Paul as a solo artist, really came into his own right as a great songwriter and critics acknowledge that. I think Ringo's the most underappreciated Beatle, probably because he doesn't really write songs. But he is a good drummer and as John noted right after he joined the band, "he's a good Beatle". Maybe I'm just in love with the drum breaks on "Rain". Oh, and he hates drum solos, which 9 times out of 10 I hate too.
I honestly don't like Elvis or the Beatles
I said Tupac was NOT an acceptable option!
Leslie: No Star Wars, but every episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians? Well, nobody can deny you're a unique character.
Uno: Dammit Uno, you supply them with the food. Where's your southern hospitality?
Elvis = "Meh"
Beatles all the way here. Plus John Lennon was a founding father of Dudeism.
Where's your southern hospitality?
o scuse me miss laydee butyou sposed 2 be roundin me up some chicken beotch
YDG: I heard they got to his house, and were really nervous so they didn't say anything for a few minutes until Elvis told them "if you're just gonna sit there and stare at me I'm going to bed". Then the lols and good times ensued. Of course since they basically shat on his recording career and made it impossible for him to reclaim a young audience he probably put on a facade to be a polite host. Southern hospitality and such.
Margaret: Yeah, I'm a Beatles person too. Elvis is cool and all, but he's no Liverpudlian.
Sadly I have never seen The Big Lebowski; whenever it comes on TV it's always censored out the ass. Want to see it uncut, dammit!
Uno: Negro, that uppity ass Texan don't tell me what to do no way no how. Get yer own damn chicken yer own damn self.
You have dicks now?
I think maybe you should trim your bush. And this is coming from me. ME. Oh jeez!
I'm with A.G.B. Anyone who doesn't like the Beatles or Pulp Fiction is euthanasia-worthy.
You sure he's not an undercover Christian Fundamentalist trying to cure you?
There's actually three kinds of people: Beatles people, Elvis people and SLAY-ERRRRRR!!!!!!
I've never been in a Wal-Mart
Where do you buy ammo?
Beatles is like.... I can't really think of a good example., but music has evolved SO far, that Beatles seem too simple, but they were revolutionary back in their day.
Ammo is on our tour rider right next to hummus.
Get over the Pulp Fiction thing, you dicks. If I have two free hours I'd rather spend it insulting bloggers or doing home reno projects, not watching John Travolta with a bad weave.
I wasn't allowed to watch tv when I was growing up and I have very little interest in it now.
I saw Natural Born Killers, if that helps. And I've seen The Moderns and Henry & June like a million times.
I never said I don't like The Beatles. I like nursery rhymes!
Only the best for leslie. Here Leslie, now you really have something to make fun of. See you in the quarter with my master pieces.
OMG. You're really begging for some one on one time aren't you? No way I can walk by some fine fleur de lys tourist art like that and not have something to say.
Look for me at the end of March. Still by the church, no doubt?
Thanks for the laugh!
And please bathe by then, thanks.
Who likes a squeaky clean artist?
Stay grungy, buddy! Bathing everyday is sooo twentieth century.
I do?
Seriously Robert, if you need a hot meal or some coins for laundry, let me know.
By the Church??? Have you walked around your new home? There is a church on every corner. Did you mean the Cathedral? ifsothenNo. i'm no longer on Pirates alley hanging on the Cathedral fence. I've switched to Decatur by the mules.
But i really only show up when i'm about to starve and need to make quick cash. I really would love to have a drink with you because i can't believe you're as much of a bitch in person as you are on the internet. I thought Steve was a decent human being and he turned out to be a Jaguar driving cock sucker. i imagine you Ho bokens are Topsy turvies.
I just took the picture. Can't you tell that my hair is still wet from my morning scrub? You must have thought it grease from all the years i spent slaving in the kitchens of new orleans for the haves like you. Who knows, maybe my hands have touched your food. At least i don't smell like raw fish anymore.
Oh, by the mules with the rest of the paint flingers, ok. Just stay off Chartres Street or I'll pay you to NOT display those.
Drinks it is! I'm buying, right?
Steve is nuts...never said he isn't...but I don't recommend anyone move in with him. He's funny though!
"the haves" LOL...meaning "the employed"?
In person I just think evil thoughts. I'm pretty well-behaved, for the most part, but please have the chip on your shoulder so I know how to spot you, ok?
Btw I just sent that pic to Steve and he responded with "he's hotter than I remember"...so there you go.
I'm going to W-O-R-K now.
Leslie i was lied to when i got my culinary degree. I was under the impression i could actually make a living and pay back my loan cooking. As a chef or baker i worked all the time which left no time to make art and had no money left over after i payed my bills. So i decided to say fuck it and try to work for myself. It's a gamble that will hopefully pay off in the long run. But at least i'm not a slave to the Ritz Carlton or La Boulangerie any more.
OMG stop! You sent me that pic to get the reaction you did. I don't like to disappoint!
I <3 starving artists, ok? I will even show you my former existence as one so you have some non-Wal-mart ammo to blast me with. Fucking hell dude, I said I'd buy.
Go paint my house if you need work...and paint a little orange dog on the front porch please, unless that's extra.
Dearest Leslie, why do you always have to be such a confrontational bitch?
Ha! I wonder if Chris experiences any split-end difficulties? I mean, the mega wattage of blow drying power he likely requires to style that dated do must wreak havoc on his follicles! Next time you have his ear, whisper sweetly into it, "Ginseng oil". He will repair any damage, thank you profusely and smell like a freshly bathed brotha! Win-win-win!
Look who's talking?
I thought she was being sweet, here.
^@Woozie...
Leslie i find it funny that you react to my Fluer de lis at all. You must know that i don't take them seriously as art. And if you think i'm embarrassed to work the tourist economy in a tourist town, you really don't know me or nola at all. The french quarter is the economic engine of our parish and the paint slingers on the square are a key part of the charm. It's the most respectable bottom feeding i've ever seen.
So you were a starving artist? The only thing i've ever agreed with BBC on is that we don't know anything about you.
Who's Elvis?
"Fluer de lis" - buyable culture
nashe^ it is a wonderful song by robyn hitchcock unknown to american cultural neanderthals
...not an appropriate lullaby! I'd love to show him more--turn him on, if you will--but we have to make baby steps first. And if this doesn't do it for him, nothing will.
May I suggest you sit with him and watch A Hard Day's Night Movie?
If I Fell is an appropriate lullaby, I love that song... ***sigh***
I'm going to W-O-R-K now.
Does little Foo Foo stay home all alone while you're gone or do you take her with you to the sulfur mine?
Raspootin, one of these days I just might do that. We'll see how the mixtape thing goes.
Thimscool: The difference between myself and leslie is that I try not to pick fights or raise simple disputes to stellar heights. That's called maturity. Leslie seems, at least to me, to take pride in unnecessary conflict. That's called immaturity.
Everyone else, lol.
Aye, do you think she has any Irish in her? Or perhaps, then, she would like some Irish in her?
You strangled her Pomeranian, she compared your Beatles to nursery rhymes. So much blood on the floor in here...
I'll clean up... you two find a bottle and a dark corner to discuss your dream boners.
Some Irish in her huh? Has anyone ever told you you're a filthy person?
My wife has said that a few times... and I vaguely recall my mother mentioning words to that effect. Eeeuugh.
What can I say? I work hard for the money.
Your friend likes only McCartney, I guess. Although I have to admit - I love those three songs,too. Let's se - in yours my favorites are 1, 2, 7, 11, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17. But there are some others I really like that aren't on the list.
If only Elvis did acid instead of freebasing peanut butter, the world would be a far different place.
If only Elvis did acid instead of freebasing peanut butter, the world would be a far different place.
oommffgglololol
I gotta say, as much as I love Quentin Tarentino and Pulp Fiction, I disagree with the whole concept. Comparing, or even choosing between Elvis and the Beatles is just stupid. Elvis was an entertainer, and probably one of the greatest, if not the greatest. The Beatles on the other hand, are known more for their amazing song-writing ability, and their influence on the music world.
I love the Long and Winding Road, and to listen to Elvis sing can bring tears to your eyes. He could sing anything. There's no way I could choose between them. It would be like choosing between George Jones, and Alan Jackson. If that makes sense.
I cried like a baby when John Lennon died. What a loss...
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